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San Diego Small Wedding and Elopement Photographer

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Wedding Day How-To's

How to Plan a More Meaningful Wedding Day

San Diego, CA & Beyond

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10 ideas to infuse your wedding day with meaning


Are you looking for ideas on how to plan a more meaningful wedding day, but don’t know where to start? This is the post for you.

My sister and her husband planned the first intimate wedding I ever attended. Since then, many couples have reached out to me to document their small days too. From my years of shooting intimate weddings, I’ve learned the most meaningful wedding days are the ones crafted with heart and intention.

Of course I know what makes a meaningful wedding day will be different for everyone. This list of suggestions is a culmination of my experience as a wedding photographer (and now a bride!) planning our own wedding.

Hopefully some of these ideas will inspire you to incorporate more meaning into your own day and carry out a vision that’s true to you.

1. Limit your guest list

This is, by far, the most important decision to make about your wedding day. Your guest count impacts every other aspect of your day, in a big way. By paring down your guest list, you are intentionally choosing those people to stick by your side, through the good times and bad. A smaller wedding with your closest people creates a more intimate atmosphere by nature. If you need more reasons to consider a small wedding, check out this post. OR if you’re thinking an elopement is more your style, click here.

Intimate joshua tree wedding

2. Choose a meaningful wedding location

A lot of couples I work with choose to exchange vows in a place that marked a milestone in their relationship. It’s the forest where they got engaged or the beach where they said “I love you” for the first time. Choosing a meaningful location for your ceremony or reception intimately bonds you to that place forever. Imagine returning to that special place to reminiscence or celebrate future anniversaries. More importantly, you get to experience and share that special place with all of your loved ones.

3. Write your own vows

Don’t forget what this day is all about: the two of you committing your lives to each other. Of all days, this is not the time to underestimate the power of your words. This is an opportunity to reflect on why you’re getting married and how you will continually communicate love to your partner. You don’t need to be a poet. You only need to speak your truth to the most important person in your life. Your relationship is one-of-a-kind…why wouldn’t you express your feelings with your own voice? That will always mean so much more than a generic script.

Big Sur Intimate Wedding Glen Oaks Paige Nelson

4. Have someone close to you officiate or help craft the ceremony script

Your officiant will play a significant role on your wedding day…and he or she will also be present in all of your ceremony photos. It’s important to make sure you share a connection with this person and that they share your vision. Asking someone close to you to officiate or collaborating on the script together will make your ceremony so much more personal. I can’t vouch for other states, but in California, your friend or family member can easily be ordained online. However, make sure to check the specific laws in the city, state, or country you’re considering.

5. Ask your loved ones to toast you

My personal favorite part of a wedding day is listening to toasts from close friends or family. When the group shares your personal stories, the love in the room becomes tangible. Your parents might learn something new about your relationship when your best friend recounts the story of how you met, or vice versa. These stories bring people closer together. Besides the ceremony, this is the time of day when emotions flow freely. There doesn’t have to be any pressure or “rules” behind these toasts. Sometimes we don’t get a lot of opportunities to tell people how important they are to us. Consider this an open invitation for your loved ones to do just that.

Intimate Rimrock Ranch Wedding Paige Nelson

6. Delegate important roles to friends and family

I’m sure more than one of your guests have already asked what they can do to help. Even if you think you can do it all, give them something to do too! I promise that assigning friends or family even small roles will help make for a more meaningful wedding day. This is a beautiful way to intimately involve your community and make sure everyone feels included. If your friend owns a bakery, hire them to make your cake! If your mom is a skilled seamstress, maybe she will want to help you with your dress. Not only will delegating duties help personalize your day, these things will mean so much more to you too.

San Diego Wedding Photographer Paige Nelson

7. Exchange personal letters or gifts

This is another meaningful gesture that has always stood out to me when documenting wedding days. Sometimes during preparation or the first look, a couple will exchange love letters or thoughtful gifts. If words of affirmation is one of your partner’s love languages, a personal letter is something they will cherish. And a gift doesn’t have to be expensive to be well-received. For example, you can make a scrapbook of your relationship, purchase a mug from the coffeeshop you had your first date, or collect a vial of sand from your special place. These things will become mementos of love you can hold on to forever.

Meaningful Wedding Day, Intimate Santa Cruz Elopement Paige Nelson

8. Spend the whole day together (or most of it!)

I know this one goes against tradition, but I’m all about making your wedding day your own. Instead of getting ready at separate locations or doing a first look, I’ve photographed couples who opted to get ready together. They spend the morning cuddling, sharing coffee, and helping their partner get dressed. They share every experience on their wedding day and I think that’s a super special way to start your marriage. And their wedding images, from start to finish, reflect those moments too.

Meaningful wedding day Big Sur Paige Nelson

9. Incorporate more of the things you love

The best wedding day details are the ones that mean something special to your relationship. These are the things that make your day uniquely you and the ones your guests are going to remember. For instance, it can be something as simple as carrying a family heirloom on your bouquet. If you love to collect vinyl together, maybe your guest book will be a custom album sleeve. You can dance to the song that played during your first kiss or order a cake topper that features your dog. In short, you don’t have to go broke on decor to leave an impression on your guests.

Meaningful Wedding Day San Diego Botanic Garden Paige Nelson

10. Repurpose your wedding decor for your home

It goes without saying, you will have lots of wedding pictures to hang around the house, but what’s going to happen to the rest of your decor? At a recent wedding I photographed, the couple used terracotta tiles as the chargers for their table settings. They’re planning to lay these tiles in the backyard of the home they just bought together. Every time they sit outside, they will be reminded of all the people who love them. Another couple I know hung a personalized map used as a guest book above their bed. If you can find ways to repurpose your wedding decor, these details will intrinsically carry sentimental value. And frankly, you will feel so much better about investing in items built to last that will become a conversation starter in your home. (Bridal Guide has some other great ideas here!)

10 Meaningful Wedding Day Ideas

There are so many small things you can do to have a more meaningful wedding day. The best part of all? Most of these ideas are free or will actually save you money. With these tips in mind, I hope you feel ready to infuse your day with all kinds of special details.

You’re allowed to turn your wedding day into whatever you want it to be, but I hope it’s a reflection of you.

Wedding Day How-To's

5 reasons you should elope

San Diego, CA & Beyond

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Why you should consider an elopement


Hey stranger, fancy seeing you here. I know you found your way to this post because you were late night Googling “reasons we should just elope.” Well, luckily I’m here to feed them to you!

But first, I just want you to know I’ve been in your shoes before. I too went down that rabbit hole, fishing for confirmation bias on the internet. I’ve felt that same fear and weight of uncertainty in our wedding decisions.

Early on in our own plans, we also considered an elopement. (I’ve been an intimate wedding and elopement photographer for the past 4 years- it only made sense!) But even so, there’s still much to learn as a photographer-turned-bride. It doesn’t make decisions, like paring down a guest list, any less maddening. It’s freakin’ hard!

I know you’re ultimately going to make the decision that feels best for you and your partner, rambling blog posts or not. For now, I’m just your anonymous internet friend chanting “YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT” from the sidelines.

Without further ado, here are 5 good reasons you should just elope already!

5 reasons you should elope

1. Skip being the center of attention

Are you really not into the wedding day “production” of putting on a show for your guests? If you and your partner are more introverted by nature, the thought of being the center of attention on your wedding day might make you cringe. If you decide to elope, you get to dodge that bullet.

When you choose to elope, you are choosing to make your wedding solely about you and your partner. At most, an elopement will be the two of you, an officiant, and *maybe* even a photographer to document it. By default, this creates an incredibly romantic atmosphere and makes it even easier to infuse your wedding day with more meaning.

Henry Cowell Elopement in Santa Cruz

2. Eliminate the stress of paring down guests

This one goes without saying. One of the biggest reasons couples choose to elope is to escape the stress from planning. I can tell from experience, most of that stress comes from organizing the guest list. Specifically, paring it down to a manageable number of people without offending too many of them.

For couples with big families or friend groups, this is a daunting task. I think we all know too well how quickly the guest count can spiral. Eloping keeps the focus on the two of you, without worrying about hurting anyone’s feelings. Sometimes this all-or-nothing mindset is the only thing that will free you from guilt.

Elope in Joshua Tree, elopement photographer Paige Nelson

3. Elope to save money or spend on bigger priorities

I’m sure you’ve already googled the average cost of a wedding in the United States…every wedding blog ever will bore you to death with those statistics. Without a doubt, eloping is the most wallet-friendly way to get married. Without guests to worry about, you can choose to save big or splurge on your biggest wedding priorities.

You can take a trip down to your local courthouse, or even roll the wedding day and honeymoon into one big trip. If you’ve always envisioned wearing a designer dress, you can! If you want to stay in a ritzy hotel across the globe…you can do that too! Honestly, if you picked your top 3 priorities to splurge on, I’m sure you would still be spending significantly less on your elopement than a big wedding.

Elope in Davenport, elopement photographer Paige Nelson

4. Make it into an adventure-elope!

It’s no secret it’s tough to travel with bigger groups of people. You will probably get the inevitable guilt trip about making guests spend money. Blah, blah, blah. And if they’re spending money for you, there will be unsolicited opinions and expectations.

An elopement offers an opportunity to ditch all of that. You can check uncharted territory off of your bucket list. The best part? No one except your partner gets to weigh in. The only thing that matters is how much fun you two will have at said location, not what others make of it.

5. Avoid Family Dynamics & Drama

Most families aren’t perfect. You can bet we all have some kind of crazy family dynamics at play. Maybe your parents are remarried and not on speaking terms. Maybe your sister is dating your best friend’s ex-husband. Or maybe your grandma has a lot to say about your partner’s religion/ethnicity/sexual orientation/etc. Needless to say, this can amount to a whole lotta drama.

The mainstream wedding industry often manufactures a cookie-cutter family “ideal” that just doesn’t work for all of us. In the traditional sense of the word, eloping is an opportunity to run away from it all. Don’t let family drama get in the way of one of your most important milestones together. Celebrate on your own terms.

5 Reasons you should just elope- Paige Nelson Photography

I understand the question “should we elope?” will either be one of the easiest, or most challenging, wedding decisions you’ll make.

If you’re still on the fence about eloping like we were, I wrote another post on 10 Reasons to Have an Intimate Wedding. (Intimate weddings can be the perfect happy medium for people like you and I).

And for even more elopement resources and inspiration, I highly recommend Intimateweddings.com!

Wedding Day How-To's

10 reasons to have an Intimate Wedding

San Diego, CA & Beyond

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Why you should consider a small wedding day


Is an intimate wedding the right kind of day for you? If you found your way to this post, I’m guessing you may be at a crossroads with your wedding planning. The question is…should you plan the big, traditional wedding? Or is your heart pulling you toward a more intimate setting?

By now, I’ve photographed enough weddings to notice a stark contrast in big days versus small. I can tell you, more than any other decisions you will make, your guest count matters the most.

And do you want to know the number one thing couples say they wish they would have done differently? Going big.

Intimate Costa Rica Elopement Paige Nelson

It’s an incredible feeling when a couple tells me one of the intimate wedding stories on my blog has inspired them to plan their day like that too. They had no idea it was even an option until stumbling across the photos. Some, even in the middle of planning a huge wedding, said “screw it” and went with their gut.

If you’re still on the fence, then maybe this list is exactly what you need to read right now.

1. Travel somewhere you’ve always wanted

With a smaller guest list, your destination options are endless. Your wedding day is one of the best excuses to check a new place off your bucket list…or revisit somewhere special to the both of you. After you decide on an intimate wedding, I guarantee the “WHERE” will be your next hardest decision.

Intimate Muir Beach Elopement San Francisco

2. Spend quality time with your inner circle

Does the thought of endless small talk on the biggest day of your life make you cringe? If you have 150+ people at your wedding, you’re limiting yourself to about 2 minutes with every guest. Instead of saying a quick “hello” before being pulled to the next group, imagine having one-on-one time with every single person. The people you love most will be right by your side and you’ll get to spend quality time with each of them. Wouldn’t you rather have meaningful conversations to mark this milestone in your lives? Think about the impression that will leave on the two of you and your people.

3. Create an experience for your guests

One of the most beautiful parts of planning an intimate wedding is the ability to turn it into an extended experience for your guests. Instead of just a wedding day, why not a wedding weekend? With a smaller group to manage, you will have more flexibility in setting up fun activities or excursions the day before or day after to include everyone, especially if people are traveling for you. How does a welcome pizza party sound? What about an intimate wine tasting, or maybe a catamaran tour?

Casa Cornacchi wedding in Tuscany, Italy Paige Nelson

4. Everyone can play a special part in your day

You can find ways to include everyone and make them feel like an even more important part of your day. From a guest perspective, I can’t express how meaningful assigning even a small role on the wedding day is. This will bring your community closer together in an intimate way. Imagine your best friend and sister building your bouquet, your mom officiating your ceremony, or your brother playing guitar as you walk down the aisle. I always try to emphasize to my couples, these are the details you’re going to remember…and the ones that will make your wedding uniquely you.

5. Enjoy the freedom of being yourselves

Does the thought of being the center of attention in front of 100 people make you squirm? We all wear masks depending on what our social circumstances call for. You may not be the same “you” in front of your work acquaintances as you are in front of your best friends.  When you’re surrounded by your inner circle, you don’t have to worry about holding back emotions for fear of judgment. Let it out! The laughter, the tears, the weirdness. You’re not putting on a show or “keeping up appearances”. And you don’t need to check in on everyone to make sure they’re having a good time. In other words, you can just be you. This goes for your guests too. If everyone knows each other, they may feel free to let go too.

Stylish elopement at Greystone Mansion Beverly Hills Los Angeles

6. More flexibility with budget

Two of your biggest expenses with a larger wedding will be a venue to host everyone and the cost of catering to feed them. You’ll also be accounting for invitations, furniture rentals, place settings, etc. As your guest list grows, however, it’s inevitable the quality of things like your dinner and your decor will go down. It’s your choice whether to save big in these areas, or allot more of your budget to bigger priorities. Maybe you can take the honeymoon you’ve always dreamed of…or save for your new home together. You can splurge on that designer dress you’ve been eyeing or have both photo AND video capture your day.

7. Intimate wedding venue options are endless

Want to get married in the heart of a redwood forest? What about on the edge of a desert cliff? Or maybe the base of a waterfall? A lot of these places would be nearly impossible to host a big wedding for a lot of different reasons. For example, state and national parks usually impose a 30 or less guest limit to host ceremonies. Above all, you will also run into a lot less hang ups when it comes to arranging transportation for a smaller group to these places! 

Bohemian cliffside elopement in Davenport Paige Nelson

8. Intimate weddings = less drama

It might surprise you how many extended family members and friends will be expecting an invite…even if you haven’t spoken for years. Maybe this goes without saying, but by limiting the guest list from the start, you can avoid these difficult conversations. And you don’t have to subject yourself to as many unwanted opinions. You’re inviting people because you want them to be there, not out of obligation or guilt. You have the freedom to make more choices that honor your relationship…and the people closest to you will understand why you made those choices.

9. Your day will be more laidback

Even if all of your guests are the chillest people on the planet, when you put them together in the same space, it becomes a lot like herding cats. More people inevitably means more pressure to keep things moving along. It means more coordination and unnecessary stress over logistics. Big or small, your wedding day is going to go by so fast. I want you to have time to savor it all…and that means scheduling downtime in between events. That sense of pressure to squeeze in portraits between mingling will be alleviated. We can also carve out more time to visit a dreamy location.

Rimrock Ranch wedding in Pioneertown Paige Nelson

10. Timeless photos of the people you love most

This is something you probably didn’t consider. When I’m photographing intimate weddings, it’s easier for me to focus on getting more, authentic candids of the people you love most. I won’t have to worry about delivering too many candids of the random plus one who got down on the dance floor. If there are less people, there will also be less overall group photos to take. Instead of a photo with each of your 20 tables, what if you could toast everyone at the same, long table? AND have a photo of it? I know you were intentional about your guest list and every person in attendance is someone very important to you. These are photos full of emotion, laughter, tears…the photos that you’ll keep close to your heart years later.

10 Reasons to Have an Intimate Wedding

Still not convinced if an intimate wedding is right for you? If you need more reasons to consider a small day, check out some of these stories on my blog! Intimateweddings.com is another awesome planning resource!